Review: Smokehouse Gourmet Barbeque

Barbeque, as defined by Wikipedia, is any sort of cooking that engenders a smoky flavor via charcoal, wood, or well anything that creates fire (duh). Gourmet, in one word, could be simply defined as fancy (think truffle oil?).

I’ll spoil it right now: The Smokehouse is, really, just one of those words. And it BARELY meets that requirement.

When you first look at their menu, you would think you’re in a barbeque place…for a few seconds. It starts out with starters of BBQ nachos, but then you go into “Smokehouse chopped salad” which is just a salad with a citrus vinaigrette, then you go back into smokiness with another salad with smoked anchovies, etc. Did I go into a Smokehouse, or did I enter the literal representation of “In-N-Out”? And then there’s “Gator tenderloin?”. Portobello mushrooms? It’d be fine if there was like a BBQ sauce or smoke factor to it, but according to the item descriptions there isn’t any such thing. The mushrooms have a orange balsalmic reduction, and the tenderloin is served with citrus ranch.

Whatever, that’s fine, I tried the BBQ nachos. I’ll give them props for not overloading too much on the BBQ sauce (compared to the BBQ nachos at the Baseball games here); it was more of a drizzle of spicy BBQ sauce with corn, nacho cheese, onions and an (unfortunate) dearth of pulled pork. The chips were a tad stale, but the flavors were indeed amazing. I just wish I had more pulled pork.

The key to any good BBQ place is, well, good BBQ. My two twin friends ordered different stuff (didn’t know that could happen…if you guys are reading this, I’m kidding); one ordered a Brisket Reuben while the other ordered the Fried Green Tomato sandwich. What a Fried Green Tomato sandwich is doing on a dinner menu for a BBQ place beats me, but hey maybe there’s a spin on it.

Waiting. Waiting. 40 minutes later the results are in.

There wasn’t any spin. As my friend put it, it was merely a fried green tomato (he did mention it was a good fried green tomato) with some sauce that wasn’t any bit reminding of a smokehouse, and some bread. The twin got a brisket reuben and the brisket itself was good but the thousand island dressing + cheese were lacking, at best. I got a small plate of spare ribs and pulled pork…the pulled pork was absolutely bland but the spare ribs were very well seasoned. What ruined all of these dishes though was the fact that all of our dishes came out just warm…not hot, just warm. Bad enough to notice, good enough to not send back. They weren’t even left under a hot plate (the moisture in both the spare ribs and pulled pork was still retained); they were just sitting out there. The waitress said it was due to a party of 20+ clogging up the kitchen…I could care less if the President was in town. I understand if it was late, but late + lukewarm? Unacceptable.

The side items were uninspiring. The “baked beans” really didn’t seem like baked beans just from looking at them; it looked more like chili at best. The “smoked corn” was smoked alright, but it was just weird…no butter as well, which I guess would overpower the “smokyness”. But, there’s your “smokehouse” inspiration I guess. The Texas Toast wasn’t great, I could swear it was frozen Pepperidge Farms Texas Toast. The Mac and Cheese? The waitress was honest in telling me it wasn’t homemade…but why wasn’t it? Mac and Cheese from Sonny’s is one thing, Mac and Cheese from a “gourmet smokehouse” should be homemade though. Good, but again, lukewarm.

The Smokehouse does have a good special: eat out on the porch area and get $5 on all appetizers and BOGO drinks. And the prices aren’t THAT outlandish…

However, there’re just a variety of problems that prevent me from giving this restaurant even an acceptable rating. Simply put, there seems to be an identity crisis at this restaurant…I can’t tell if this is a smokehouse, or a Southern cooking place + some BBQ stuff. If you look on their menu, barely half of their menu is filled with BBQ stuff. Sonny’s does a better job of this. There’s also an identity crisis in the more blunt sense that this is not gourmet food…sorry, but BBQ nachos are still nachos…and I feel like you shouldn’t be saying nachos at a “gourmet restaurant”. Not to mention, when food comes out lukewarm, and is mentioned to the waitress…I do expect some sort of apology from either the waitress or the manager or chef, even if I did tell the waitress to not worry about reheating it. It’s not that service was horrendous, it was just that it was subpar.

I don’t expect much from Gainesville BBQ…Florida and Gainesville really aren’t in the BBQ region of the South, so I try to be easy. When I can find better side items at Kay Bros BBQ (which isn’t that great), and better BBQ at Sonny’s, however, this spells trouble for any restaurant.

–

Grade: C-

Pros:

• The nachos were good
• Decent specials
• Spare Ribs weren’t bad

Cons:

• Identity crisis to the max
• Entrees came out lukewarm and late
• Simple sides not homemade
• Sonny’s and Kay Bros do better

 

Review: Civilization

(image taken from Civilization’s website).

No, this isn’t Sid Meier’s Civilization that we’re talking about here. Civilization is a quaint little restaurant that is situated almost in the middle of nowhere. I could tell you it’s on NW 2nd Street in Gainesville, but it would take you probably forever to find it (its address is 1511 NW 2nd Street though, if you must know).

Civilization is very unique in that it is the only co-op restaurant in the southeast United States (or so it claims). What does this mean? Basically, the community (or some members of it) own the restaurant and make decisions about it democratically. Investments are also made by the community, thereby removing all influence and dependence of banks. (for more info: http://iml.jou.ufl.edu/projects/fall09/white_j/index.html)

But enough about co-ops, let’s get down to the restaurant level. Parking is ample, and makes the restaurant seem bigger than it actually is…because, I’ll be honest, it’s not that big. It has very high ceilings, which makes it all the more inviting (unlike the Jones, which seems dark and damp), but the actual square footage seems about the same. You could be waiting some days for a good 20-30 minutes…but we managed to get in with no problem around lunch.

For our office group outing, we went off the lunch menu. The specials board is nice and centered in the dining area, and there was a soup that probably a good third of the table wanted (cream of portabello mushroom).

As nice and centered the specials board was, it wasn’t very much updated. The soup was already sold out (can someone enlighten me how soup sells out by noon? yes, this place is open for breakfast, but it still doesn’t quite make sense to me). And to think I was gonna get a bowl of it.

So, anyway, I “settled” for the flank steak sandwich. This is from their website:

Broiled marinated flank steak topped with caramelized onions,
white cheddar, and habanero mayonnaise on a baguette

Awesomeness, in picture form. (Also, I love my iPhone 4S).

What they should have added was “it’s a chockful of awesomeness”. Seriously, the description doesn’t do it justice…granted, looking back, maybe there was more cheddar and more mayo than habanero, but there was still a bit of spice in the whole sandwich. The steak was cooked wonderfully, and the meshing of the baguette + onions and everything else was just immaculate.

The sandwich also came with “fried potatoes”, to which the smart-aleck might go “uhh yeah french fries, ever heard of them?”. But  no, they were like french fries but with a homefry twist, if you will. Golden/orange-brown fried goodness surrounding fluffy potatoes = whee.

My friends/office workmates had an avocado melt (was deemed alright, but not sensational), pumpkin and garlic soup (two thumbs up), Florida Cobia burritos (great) and an egg salad (a regular ordered this one, so it’s good). I should also take the time to mention that everything made is from local and organic products.

The only turn-off was the price…$10 for a sandwich never seems fair, even if it was 1) flank steak 2) local/organic 3) with a side of (frickin awesome) fried potatoes. Other than the restaurant being situated in Gainesville-nowhere, I can see the price being a turn-off for most students too (definitely recommend coming during lunch rather than dinner). I understand it’s a co-op, so prices need to be a little more reflective of this fact, but still it seems a tad unsettling.

I will say that they have a nice selection of drinks, including Cheerwine for all you Southern folk (although this is not new, Cheerwine is slowly making its way into UF as well).

Also, service was alright…it wasn’t the best (we’d go sometimes 10-15 minutes without servers realizing I was out of water 20 minutes ago), but it wasn’t the worse. They do have a rule where no more than 4 cards can be presented at the table, but the guy was nice enough to handle all of our cards. I wouldn’t call it attentive service, but I’d call it passable. If you’re a stickler who wants to be the center of your server’s attention, however, you will be pissed.

Grade: A-/B+

Pros: Damn good food, need to try more of it.

Cons: Bit expensive for lunch, not very punctual in updating availability of menu, service is flaky.

A BBQ joint (or two), Tex-Mex place, and Sunday drinks all walk into a bar…

And a bad joke results.

No, but seriously, by the time UF students come back to Gainesville, the restaurant landscape will become somewhat different, and every restaurant is going to be affected.

First off, Smokehouse, a new “Gourmet BBQ” place on Main and 2nd, will be formally open to the public by the time we all come back from break. Just looking at this Gainesville Sun article, I can tell why it’s called a gourmet BBQ place (“white cheddar mac with pecarino romano”??? really? I almost expect truffle oil at this point). Entrees range from $8-18.

If cheaper, more down-to-earth BBQ is your calling, David’s BBQ is opening another location on (nearly the extreme) east part of town, right near The Jones Eastside. While it’s still somewhat far out from campus, it is definitely closer compared to their first location (located in the middle of a forested nowhere).

Tijuana Flats on Archer is finally shaping up to open in Late January. While parking around that area is still always atrocious…at least there’s parking available (unlike the Tijuana on University where you basically have to be on campus to eat there in the lunch hour, since parking is either metered or city-sticker only).

To top it all off: The blue laws regarding alcohol and liquor on Sundays are no longer in effect. That means, starting this Sunday, Sunday
Fundays are for real this time; it’s up to you to take advantage of them.

On a blog-related note: to the asswipe who keeps on rating each blog post as one-star lately, just stop. I am genuinely trying to run a respectable blog here and it’s obviously alright if you don’ t like some posts…but I know when someone’s genuinely not happy with a post versus when someone is just putting one star for the heck of it. If you really don’t like the posts, leave a comment.

Quick Review: Urban Flats, Gainesville

I only have really seven minutes to blog…I like to work on, at worst, 15 min intervals. But anyway, I’ll prob end up going until 9:30PM.

So, even though Devon (my now official food partner-in-crime) and I originally thought we were going to do Mexican food, we decided to tone it down a notch (for whatever reason) and go try out Urban Flats. I’ve tried it one, but I didn’t remember it that much, and Devon had never heard of it before. Naturally I had to go, because I hate reviewing food alone (and not to mention since when does one meal actually constitute a review?).

It’s a Sunday night, so naturally we’re loud and obnoxious and it kinda magnifies in a restaurant on a Sunday night (aka not that many people there, but that’s OK). We tried the spicy rolls, which have a collection of Italian sausage, chicken, and some kind of spicy blend…or so I thought. The only thing that was burning though was the actual burn of hot oil scathing my tongue while the rest of the meat was actually just at normal temperature. Both of us politely muttered “shit” upon noticing this. The taste of the actual food was fine, but still I don’t like burnt tongues.

I ordered the Southwest flatbread and Devon took the one that had turkey, brie and pears in it. The Southwest’s description was enticing: adobo in some kind of chipotle seasoning with jalapeno peppers and sourcream. Just writing about that right now reminds me of a Chipotle Burrito Bowl. And I thought I would get exactly that.

The last line should indicate my disappointment. It was the most bland piece of bread with beef I ever had. I felt like I was eating a Philly Cheese Steak with very little cheese, and some bland peppers. On the other hand, Devon’s flatbread, which I expected to be more bland than mine, turned out to be amazing. OK, not necessarily amazing, but definitely more flavorful than mine ever was.

I also ordered a Caesar salad. I prefer Designer Greens.

Grade: M. Mediocre at best.

 

Fat Review: Cody’s Roadhouse

Forgive me, I’m still delirious from eating way too much.

So, I know I probably indirectly implied that I would try to lose weight starting this new year. You know, do the usual cliche resolutions like eat healthier, exercise more, budget more, yadda yadda.

Only took four days.

To be fair, the seedling of thought about going to this restaurant was planted weeks before 2011 officially started…so, really, I think I haven’t broken any resolutions YET (my one Chipotle run doesn’t count…and any food bought by parents doesn’t count either). So, naturally, I needed a good send-off meal before I relegated my life to eating gruel (aka salad). Would Cody’s be the proper place for that salute to food? Yes and no. With six friends.

I’m going to take a stab and say that Cody’s originated in Florida…but I’m not entirely sure. There are 14 locations all scattered around Florida, although they seem to be localized to anything along I-95 and westwards (Bradenton, The Villages, Ocala, etc.). It obviously has the normal roadhouse feel…something you would see at a Roadhouse Grill (do those things still exist?) or Logan’s. I used to think that Gainesville didn’t have a Roadhouse type of place…then realized that Texas Roadhouse qualifies (although from the outside it really doesn’t look like it does). Cody’s Roadhouse definitely fits the bill just from looking at its facade…and I mean, the outside decorations actually match its theme. Recall that the previous tenant was “Sake Cafe”….but it looked more like a Mexican restaurant than even On the Border looked when it preceded the “Cafe”. Obviously peanut shells were scattered throughout the inside, and peanuts were at every table. In other words, don’t worry about the atmosphere.

Then again, I wouldn’t mind eating the best cheeseburger in the world in the middle of a cave. But did I experience “the best of”? It depends on what you order…as is typical of these places. Any entree (which excludes sandwiches and burgers essentially) includes unlimited salad. Now, when you think unlimited salad at a sit-down place, you instantly think Olive Garden. Keep thinking Olive Garden. The salad was just mediocre, at best. Take lettuce, onions, cucumbers (blech), add a whole lotta ranch dressing that seemed like it was from a bottle at Publix (maybe a Publix brand bottle…nothing wrong with that at home, but at a Roadhouse? come on), and wah lah…salad that noone was asking seconds for. The rolls, however, did the save the day…kind of. I mean, buttered rolls will do anyone good. And with cinnamon butter? Even better….although personally I found it slightly lacking in cinnamon-ness and butteryness at the same time. It was there…but I don’t know, maybe it was for the better.

The entrees, however, were excellent (with exception to one person’s steak being cooked practically medium rare when asked medium). I had a ribeye, and it was cooked beautifully. I would have appreciated a little more salt and pepper, but I’m a guy who needs moderate to heavy seasoning on anything anyway. If you’re a meat purist, you’ll love it. Some of my friends ordered grilled chicken sandwiches and said they were excellent. The pork chops appeared to be good too, cooked to near perfection. My only complaint was with the side portion being somewhat small…but one I ordered mashed potatoes and two, I could barely finish my ribeye as-is.

Couldn’t even try dessert. Too full. Sorry.

Our waitress was wonderful and the food came out in a very reasonable time, with all of the food coming out at the same time (a remarkable feat for a table of 8). Granted, I’m hoping this isn’t like a Genghis Grill….but the place was packed. I could already see it was having a slight impact on Genghis.

Grade: B+/A-/I really can’t decide.

Pros: Wait staff friendly and prompt, good entrees
Cons: Salad left a lot to be desired, some side entrees may be somewhat small (get the baked potato in other words) A

Cody’s is open from 11AM to 10:30PM starting January 10th. All credit cards are accepted. Call-ahead seating available.

I really should just start a new series based on my weight-loss progress. Or lack there-of.

 

Review: Relish, a few months later.

In psychology we recently learned about the “strange-situation test”. It’s a test that looks at the attachment a young child has to his mom or dad and shows whether the child displays secure or insecure attachment. In secure attachment, the adult leaves the child, child cries, adult returns and child is happy. In insecure attachment, the adult leaves but when he returns the baby is angry.

I feel like the victim of insecure attachment after going to Relish…in other words, I feel like Relish is angry at me.

What have we learned today at the Swamp?

• Yes, we’re spoiled, and I think it’s high time everyone (including this writer) to get off of Cloud Nine. This is, after all, a young team.
• But that doesn’t excuse Addazio.
• We’re burning the Orange Jerseys the first chance we get.
• I’m sorry, at this point it is not classless to boo a bad offensive call. We don’t mean anything against Brantley or the players necessarily, we blame the man choosing the calls: Steve Addazio. Unfortunately we can’t “@SteveAddazio” our boos to him, and even if we did he’s sure to ignore him. I feel bad for the team in a way, because noone likes to be booed. But until we can throw tomatoes at Addazio and other responsible parties, the booing is the only way we can voice our frustration.
• I now extend my blame to all corners of the UF football staff….except special teams. Special teams did a great job at attempting to reach punters as fast as possible. Andre Debose proved that we still have power in the kickoff return…something we haven’t seen in forever. But Urban Meyer? You’re now officially in the doghouse in my book. You have not done a single thing in the past six games to change things up. We saw the same plays over again, and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP USING THIS WHOLE TREY BURTON PACKAGE AT PLACES OTHER THAN THE 5-YARD LINE. Trey Burton was just a lucky son-of-a-gun who did well in one game and now we think he’s our savior.
• One could argue about the “forward pass” and the “bobble” at the end, but in reality
• Back to Urban: your post-game comments were disappointing. You tried to place blame on injured people and just said “we need to get better”. Oh really Urban? What makes you think that?
• You can call me callous, spoiled, stupid, insane, I don’t care. But when’s the last time we lost in the Swamp? Ole Miss, 2008. When’s the last time we lost two in a row? 2007. I’m not saying Fire Urban, hell no. I’m saying something needs to be done about Addazio, fast. Or else Gainesville could just erupt in riot. Someone held a sign up today seen on TV that said “Fire Addazio”. If this keeps up, there’ll be a homecoming float promoting this cause soon enough.
• We learned that we still have a chance for the SEC championship, but we need to work our tails off for it, because it’s going to be a long road ahead.
• Tim Tebow, permanent motivational speaker for UF football?

The Month of Errata: Mi Apa Latin Cafe

So just some days ago I had posted a review article about all the best restaurants in Gainesvegas, and I did something I rarely ever do: tout something that I had never been to before. There’s a huge risk in that because it means I put a great amount of faith in what I hear around town. But the word-of-mouth was overwhelming, especially when there are a decent amount of Latin restaurants in this town that are worth talking about (Fritanga and Green Plantains to say the least), and I couldn’t just ignore it. I’ve also never tried traditional latin food before…although it’s always been on my list, I’ve always been more akin to Americanized-latin food like Moe’s and Chipotle.

I’ve been begging to go to Mi Apa for days now, and probably annoying everyone by doing so. I finally managed to (after two tries) drag my friend and roommate Nico to come out with me to this place. The guy likes a good Cuban sandwich and I figured why not take him to this place? After all, even though it’s not like a traditional Cuban restaurant, it’s the closest you can get to one around this town. And, of course, me being as cheap as I am, I had plenty of coupons for the place.

A true sign that either people are screwing with me or actually viewing this blog

So a very important and yet unseen milestone was, well, seen today. I just noticed that people rated my post about the whole Alligator front-page fiasco with that bidday article…and they rated it a whopping one star!! Two people, one star. Wooooot. I’m already becoming hated. I’m just 1/1000000th of the way to becoming the next Perez Hilton.

Welcome to Gainesville

This is a multipurpose post, really. I’m back to highlighting stupid links around the web, like North Korea getting a Facebook and a Twitter, Burger King’s exclusive Whopper Bar restaurant in NYC getting a Burger Pizza (which looks sick btw…both types of “sick”), The Dark Knight robs a Taco Bell, another heart-inducing creation by KFC, and more.

Also, to those ‘10ers up here in UF I’d like to give you a big hearty welcome to Gainesville. If you actually thought my series of posts was worthy of your consideration and helped out a bit, or if you want to see it, just go to where it says “edumucation” up at that navigation bar. Yeah, I might not be a HackCollege, but at least you’re hearing an individualistic experience rather than some generalized rendition of an experience (not that there’s anything wrong with that). But if you’re not going to see those posts, here’s just some bullet points to remember.

• Stop whining about the prices of your books, you should’ve either rented/bought online, and it just gets worse (especially for you engineering people)
• The cute girl in your hall is probably taken by her high-school boyfriend. Don’t worry, just wait a little.
• It’s OK to ask tons of questions to your advisers. After all your schedule depends on it.
• Yes, there’s bunches of pretty girls walking around in pretty sun dresses right now. Move along.
• You DO have the right to cross on the crosswalks; the cars must stop for you. Just don’t dilly-dally.
• Please don’t drink and drive…seriously.

I need to decide what to eat for dinner tonight; this whole thing about still not being in my own apartment yet is REALLY annoying me.